When the subject of David Letterman’s on-air confession came up at dinner last night, my husband thought it was odd that the audience was laughing throughout his story.
Maybe it’s because we no longer know how to respond to the truth.
Think about it. It’s been over a decade since Bill Clinton “did not have sex with that woman,” while House Speaker Newt Gingrich pushed for impeachment proceedings against Clinton — at the same time Gingrich himself was cheating on his wife.
John Edwards was also unfaithful and may have fathered a child with his mistress, although his excuse was that his wife was in remission at the time he cheated.
The latest poster boy of red-handed lying is Mark Sanford, who gives new meaning to the phrase “hiking the Appalachian Trail.”
We listen, dumbfounded and silent, when obvious and utter lies are held up to us as self-righteous proclamations of truth.
So it makes sense that when we do hear the truth, delivered without fanfare from a man who likes to skewer the liars, some of us would titter, laugh, and chuckle from a place of deep discomfort. David Letterman told us he was blackmailed for some ‘creepy’ things he’d done, like sleep with female staff members.
What are we supposed to do with the truth, unaccustomed as we are to hearing it? We treat it like a joke, and we laugh.
I’m not going to rake Letterman over the coals for what was likely a consensual act between adults.
Yes, there was a huge inequity of power. Yes, the women (whom it’s safe to assume are all a bit younger than him) may have felt their jobs were on the line if they said no. But it happens in nearly every workplace in America, bosses sleeping with their employees. Letterman was dumb to do it. The women could have and should have said no. But it’s their business, and his business, and not essentially ours.
What’s really worth noting in this whole sorry affair is the fact that Letterman broke a sort of man code – he talked about it and put the details out there without a lot of fuss. For how many centuries have wealthy men doled out hush money to shut down talk about their amorous indiscretions? As the bumper sticker says, “____ happens.” In comparison, the truth rarely happens. We’re owed the truth but have come to settle for ____.
Of course we can’t compare a nighttime talk show host with a presidential candidate or elected politician. But if David Letterman could make a public admission of guilt and still go on, why can’t the people we’ve entrusted with our votes, our faith, and and our hopes for the future place enough trust in us so that we might hear them out, applaud them for their honesty, and forgive and forget?
Why do they continue to lie past all reason and common sense? Do they really think we’re that stupid?
Since we’re in a truth telling mood here, I’m going to say this. Having sex with the boss is a really stupid idea. Whether or not he’s as powerful as Bill Clinton, as handsome and charming as John Edwards, or as big a pop culture icon as David Letterman, sex with the boss ranks up there with the most basic things we all learn not to do, like stick your finger in a light socket.
One of the funniest and most upfront arguments about why you shouldn’t have sex with your boss comes from Audrey Ference, who drives her point home so fiercely that no less than nine “F” bombs are deployed.
Tags: women affairs, women and society, women relations, women sex issues, working women
