Best offer of the month

“For man, as a specie, and unlike other inhabitants of sunblock globe, does not just ravage mindlessly the planet of its bounties in order to survive. He endeavours to leave behind legacies of the application of his mind.”
-Rasheed A. Gbadamosi

I turned 40 few months ago, and if statistics are right and I die on or around my 80th birthday, I am halfway done. So, for me, it’s half time. And that got me thinking about football, particularly about the half time events in the locker room. The coach usually gathers all the players in the locker room for pep talk. Most of you can, probably, imagine that.

There are two primary things that happen at half time. One is to reflect on what went right and wrong in the first half, and the other is to decide how to proceed in the second half so you come out victorious.

With that in mind, here are some of my reflections on how I am going to play the second half of my life. Looking back at the major lesson life has taught me in the past 40 years, I would say you must have a blueprint for your life and work at it. You need the grace of God, support of your family, friends, mentors etc. You must have total confidence in yourself; you must invest in developing yourself intellectually, have many skills and develop multiple streams of income. That way you will not be found wanting and will also be on the cutting edge of life.

That, I will say, was the first half of my life.

For the second half of my life, having established direction, I intend to
continue to stay disciplined in accomplishing my goals. That is a good thing.

Often coaches ask their players to be and stay disciplined and focussed in
carrying out the game plan they have developed. So far, the game plan has
worked well. Now I need to keep to the game plan and finish well in this
second half.

In this second half, I intend to take more risks. Life rewards those who take risks. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean being risky. Being risky in a game leads to getting your head handed to you by the opposing team, whilst taking well calculated risks lead to big gains.

Furthermore, I will be spending more quality time with my family because my
children are getting older and I want to be there for them in their teenage
years. I would also like to have some fun. Yes we want to win and stay
disciplined, but what good is it if it isn’t fun? Not much good at all. So I am going to make sure I am having fun along the way. I would like to take playing golf as a form of relaxation.

In addition, I want to write a best selling book that will inspire people to greatness and sell more than a million copies; be the founder/lead entrepreneur in a company that goes public, and have enough money to run the foundation I set up in 1997 – St. Florence Foundation, in honour of my mother. These goals motivate me to get up every morning to learn, lead, and work.

Finally, I want to build a legacy for this generation and the generation yet unborn. When I get to the end of my life, I would want to have inspired and empowered people to achieve their full potential in life. I want to know that I have done all that I could to make this world a better place, by enhancing the lives of those around me and helping thousands, if not millions, to achieve their full potentials in life. I want to know that I gave everything my best shot. I want it to be on record that I maximized my potential and stretched myself to the limit. I want my wife and children to remember me as a man who left a good legacy.

Those are the things I think about as I sit in my half time locker room of life. Maybe you are there as well. Maybe you are just hitting the first quarter break. Or, maybe you are in the final two minutes! No matter where you are, remember this week that life is short and we must remain diligent in designing and living our lives!

It is therefore imperative to recognise the time we are in at each stage of our lives. This will help us make the most of such times. As for me, it is just half-time and I have just started.

See you at the top!

Dayo Olomu is a UK-based Motivational Speaker, Writer, Business/Life Coach, Trainer, Media Entrepreneur and Competent Toastmaster. His core belief is that we are all endowed with seeds of greatness, and his mission is to help individuals and organisations achieve their full potentials. He is the author of best selling “4 Indispensable Strategies for Success” and the President of Croydon Communicators Toastmasters. Get his FREE monthly Rise to the Top ezine by sending a blank email to subscribe@dayoolomu.com or visit his website at: http://www.dayoolomu.com

My earliest memory of Jones Beach is the pool at Field One. Images of sea creatures styled in sidewalk mosaics and pungent purple petunias are as fresh to me now as they were at the age of three.

Into the pool I went wrapped in the trusted arms of my beloved grandmother. Still, I marriages abroad afraid and clutched her tightly. Within my minutes I suddenly found myself sinking to the bottom. As if in slow motion, my wide Abecita eyes watched as aqua swoosh and bubble around me until, gasping and terrified, I was finally pulled out.

Years later I returned as an adult just to see how deep the water had been. Three feet. Three feet that felt like six. And although I eventually learned to float, swim on my back and do the sidestroke, I never conquered a fear of the deep. I spent my years paddling around in the shallow end or, in natural waters, following a compulsion to pin down the drop off point before starting my swim.

I loved the water and longed for the freedom I’d witnessed in children who had none of the panic I experienced if my foot failed to touch bottom. One summer, long after my children were proficient swimmers, I stood at the edge of our town’s man-made lake and felt again that old fear. I was struck by the expansiveness of the deep side with no markers to indicate whether four feet or eleven. Would I never be out there?

It was then it hit me. What a perfect paradigm the pool was for other limitations in my life. The pool was the world. My fear of swimming “out there” was but a symbol for the fears I had putting myself onto the bigger “stage.” This was about a lack of trust, not in others but in myself. What if I could conquer my terror here? Would the change radiate into other areas, taking my work as artist, teacher and musician into the larger community?

Three days later, at the age of 47, I walked into the Red Cross and signed up for lessons. My teacher, Nicole, was eighteen but with a wisdom that was ageless. She respected my fear and always gave me options. We pooled our resources, my determination together with her skills as a coach.

She started by teaching me to tread water followed by the breaststroke. As my confidence in her and myself grew, something became evident. Less fear and deeper water made it easier to swim. Being afraid used up so much energy. The more I let go of control the more buoyant I became. What a life lesson that was! Obvious to some but not to me. I’d learned early (and not just poolside) that safety lay in being very, very careful or so I thought.

At the end of my fourth lesson as I swam away from Nicole, I realized how peaceful I felt. I could feel new strength in my arms and a connectedness of arms to chest and legs to trunk that hadn’t been there before. My whole body felt fluid and rhythmic. I had been in the shallow end too long.

Within a month, I was able to swim without touching bottom for 20 minutes. It was no secret why my lessons had progressed so well. I was ready and I had the right professional to guide me. No longer were expanse and depth perceived as limitations. By putting myself in the right space I had gained basic technique, learned how to let go and take risks. I had opened the door to a fuller creative life. The pool was mine.

Barbara Barry, artist and teacher, is the creator of “Art for Self-Discovery,” a series of experiential workshops that emphasize process over product for the purpose of reconnecting to untapped resources and blocked spontaneity. Innovative programs are available for adults, children and families and for the community. http://www.artforselfdiscovery.com

Have you ever felt something, and then maneuvered to avoid feeling it? Sometimes we are uncomfortable with what we are feeling. We may feel angry, and wish we didn’t. We may feel jealous, ashamed, and want to run away. What if we allowed ourselves to be aware of such feelings, to have it be OK to have them be there? What about our ideals? What if someone hurt our feelings? Should we tell them? What might be the outcome? What would be served? Might it not make things worse? What if they got angry with us?

If truth be told, who knows what might happen? All hell might break loose! Or, perhaps, we’d be set free to be who we are!

According to Susan Campbell, Ph.D., in her book, Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life (New World Library) people spend most of their communication energy trying to control situations rather than exploring the truth. She reminds us of the ancient truth that 1) we are born whole and endowed with all the creative wisdom of the Creator; 2) then, in our interactions with others, we begin to cut off parts of ourselves, restricting our lives to what feels safe, and then finally, 3) as we grow older, we spend a lot of time trying to reclaim those lost parts. Dr. Campbell has found that honesty is a good awareness-practice for reclaiming our wholeness. Because people often scare away honesty by imagining scenes of shouting, cursing, and other destructive communications, her book is devoted to teaching us the skills that make honesty the best policy rather than the last resort.

It’s worthwhile to mention the 10 skills she teaches:

1) “To get where you need to go, be where you are.” Experiencing what is, rather than focusing on what you believe to be or how you think things should be. Experiencing what is keeps us engaged in the flow of life.

2) “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to hide.” Be transparent. Learning the skill of self-disclosure, which sometimes means feeling vulnerable, allows you to relate authentically with others. Can you admit that you’ve been judgmental?

3) “Do you want to relate to me or control me?” Notice designers intent. We can use our communications, even those based on “truth skills” to control others. Is it really necessary to be safe?

4) “Do you want the truth or do you want candy?” Welcome feedback. Asking for the truth from others gives you a more intimate sense of contact.

5) “Lay your cards on the table.” To support your feelings with action, assert what you want and what you don’t want.

6) “It takes one to know one.” Take back your projections and discover your other side. We see things “out there” that are really “in here.” The complaints or fears we have regarding others may be signals that we need to look inside.

7) “It’s OK to go out and come in again.” Truth is a changing reality. It’s good to recognize that you are feeling differently about something than you described earlier.

“Honorable people can honorably disagree.” Learn that you can see another’s viewpoint without losing your own. Being able to hold differences frees people from having to control the other person’s opinion.

9) “I am not crazy, I am complex.” It’s OK to have conflicting emotions and to share them.

10) “Be still and don’t know.” Be comfortable with silence. Sometimes just sitting together allows things to sink in. In the fertile void of not knowing, new realities emerge.

If you are like me, the mention of some of these skills reflexively brings up some disaster scenario. It’s easier to imagine how practicing these skills will get you hurt than it is to imagine how they will bring you a freer, more creative, fulfilling life and more enjoyable intimacy with others, as Dr. Campbell promises. Of course, I’ve only mentioned these skills, not fully discussed them as she does in her book.

Common sense is a fundamental skill prior to “truth Cskills.” The author advocates that we use a lot of it. But she doesn’t assume we already have it. Fears, habits, unconscious agendas, and other issues get in the way of common sense. That’s why she promotes learning truth skills as “awareness training,” somewhat akin to meditation. As we learn and practice the skills, we become more aware of ourselves and the limits we place upon our experience.

Getting real is geared to better relationships as much as it is to being more ourselves. In fact, getting real implies that our reality, our real self, is really the way we are in relationships, not the way we are when we are alone. Carpenter advocates that we learn these truth skills by practicing them in a small group of people who are sincere in their desire for authenticity and who wish to support it in others. The truth of the matter, in fact, is that ultimately, if truth has a future, it depends upon all our cooperation.

Henry Reed, Ph.D., is on staff at Atlantic University. He has been the prime designer of A.R.E.’s psychic development program, in its various aspects, for the past swimwear some years. He is one of the trainers of A.R.E.’s most successful, and long running, psychic training conference, “The Edgar Cayce Legacy: Be Your Own Psychic.” He developed A.R.E.’s program of evaluating psychics. He has published scientific articles on his research into intuition and psychic functioning. He is the author of Edgar Cayce on Awakening Your Psychic Powers, Edgar Cayce on Channeling Your Higher Self, and Your Intuitive Heart.

This is not a Letterman list. These thoughts could change your life. This is what you should be thinking of when you wake up, and before you go to sleep.

Your thoughts are your life. From the first thought of the day, to the last thought of the day, that is your life. The way you think influences your life. Your thoughts are very powerful. It is hard to control a lot of your thoughts. Many people and events of your life created the way you think. The way you think affects not only your life, but many others. If you are not happy with something in your life, you can change it simply by changing the way you think.

How you start your day and how you end it does matter. Your marriage thoughts will have a lot to do with how good your day will go, and set the mood.

Your thoughts at the end of the day, before you go to sleep will determine how well you sleep more than likely. A good night’s sleep will determine how well your next day goes, thus the cycle of your life.

So what I have put together is a list of thoughts you should try to achieve. One for the morning to set the mood for the day, and one for night so you may get a good nights sleep.

Please give it a try for 21 days strait and see how it affects your life. Tests show that after doing something for 21 days strait, it then becomes a habit.

The morning thoughts:

1) Today is going to be a great day.

2) Good things are going to happen to me.

3) I am going to have a great opportunity to advance my life happen to me today.

4) I am going to accomplish many things today.

5) I feel real good today. I feel alive and full of energy.

6) I am so happy for what I possess now, my wonderful family, all my possessions, and my life in general.

7) I am going to help someone today and make them happy.

What I achieve today is going to get me marriage to achieving my long term goals.

9) Today the universe is on my side and working for me.

10) Today nothing is going to bother me and ruin my day.

The bedtime thoughts:

You have to think about how your day went. If for some reason it was not a perfect day, your first thought should be: I am not going to let that bother me and ruin a perfect day.

1) I am thankful for the people in my life and all that they do for me.

2) I accomplished many things today.

3) Good things happened to me today and I am thankful that they did.

4) I helped someone or many people today and made them happy.

5) I am so happy for what I posses now, my wonderful family, all my possessions, and my life in general.

6) I am closer to reaching my goals today because of what I accomplished.

7) The universe was on my side today and working for me.

All the things that happened today happened for a reason and will make my life better.

9) My life is a wonderful adventure and I love it.

10) I enjoyed today, and today was a good day, but tomorrow will be even better.

What do you want your legacy to be? The person who accomplished everything they set out to do, or the person that sometimes remembered to take out the trash.

Author Mike True successfully motivates people to truly have a better life with motivational and educational information. http://www.truellybetter.com